She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
