This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
