lets start a swedish sibling band together
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Congratulations! We have a period
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
