I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
