Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
