I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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