Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
