i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
