you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
