My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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