Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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