He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
