she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
