how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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