you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
