Porn is love you can see.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There's always time for handjobs
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
