Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
