I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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