I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
