He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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