I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
