I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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