My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
