Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize