you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
