I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
