I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
