I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
