we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
