i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
