literally had 100 drinks last night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize