Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
