We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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