You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
