Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
