What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
