So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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