how can u be prego again
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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