Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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