She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
