I love black thongs
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
