Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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