Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
