He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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