She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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