So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
