I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
