Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
