If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
