I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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