Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
God gave him joint rollers for hands
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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