You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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