Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize