Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
