We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
