I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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