Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
