it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
