oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
