on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
